Even if your handwriting is terrible. And no. A DM doesn’t count. Neither does a text.
We’ve gotten away from handwriting notes (we think that’s a shame). For most occasions, a handwritten note is overkill (but always appreciated). A thoughtful email or even a quick text often is all that is needed.
But there are 6 times you must send a handwritten note:
1. When you receive a gift.
There is almost no excuse for not sending a note after receiving a gift. Jae makes an exception for get-well and sympathy gifts (no one needs an extra to do when they are grieving or sick) and little kids’ birthdays (because no mom needs an extra to do on her list, and yeah, it’s the mom who is writing them). Got a gift (even if you don’t like it), write a note. That’s all there is to it.
2. When someone has gone out of their way to help you.
With an interview, with unexpected childcare, with any act of extraordinary kindness. When your appointment arrives before your childcare arrives and a coworker offers to play with your baby, you write a thank you note. When your neighbor waters your lawn while you’re out of town, without being asked, you write a note. When a colleague writes a letter of recommendation, you guessed it.
3. When someone loses a loved one.
Even if you don’t know them that well, write the note. You won’t regret it. You may regret it if you don’t. Emme says (and we all agree), that you aren’t going to be able to say anything that will comfort them, but just knowing that you are available and thinking about them is the comfort.
4. When someone is having a hard time.
There is nothing sweeter than a note on a bad day. When a friend is going through it, send a little encouragement. On paper.
5. Milestone birthdays.
A card on any birthday is always recommended, but it is necessary on milestone birthdays.
When your grandma turns 90, you send a card. And a gift. And you don’t expect a thank you note.
6. Mother’s Day.
Always send a card on Mother’s Day. Just do it. She birthed you. It wasn’t cool (and likely that was one of the easiest parts of motherhood).
Keep some birthday, sympathy and a few blank cards ready. Have a few stamps on hand, so you are ready (that way it doesn’t end up taking you three weeks to get to the store, buy the card, go to the post office… by that time, everyone has forgotten what they did).
Your note doesn’t have to be award-winning prose. It barely even has to be legible (but try!). I often send event-inappropriate cards just to get it out there. If you know me, you’ve likely gotten an Easter card on your birthday, a 30th birthday card as a thank you, and a “you’re Rhinomite!” card for your engagement. Just get it out there.
And don’t be afraid to send a handwritten note just because. It is always appreciated.